The Zeitgeist

        

Nighttime construction. Prince William and Kate at their wedding last week. Michael Oren’s “Six Days of War” and The Eichmann Trial.

Driving Tips, William and Kate and Some Good Books to Read

Drivers beware – if you thought the construction on Peninsula Blvd. was something to bemoan or the streets being ripped-up in the back of Lawrence, watch out for the Westbound side of Rockaway Turnpike from the 5 Towns Mall up to the airport. Every night lately from about nine or so they’re busy ripping up the pavement and putting down fresh asphalt complete with closing off two lanes, giant portable stadium lights, the aroma of fresh molten tar wafting in the air and gigantic delays getting to JFK and points North.

Additionally, on the Northbound Van Wyck Expressway they’re engaged in similar endeavors from JFK right up to the Grand Central split, also closing two lanes. If you have a desire to spend and hour and a half going to LaGuardia at 10:00 p.m. then by all means take the Rockaway to Van Wyck route. My recommendation – head up Francis Lewis Blvd. to the Cross Island or Mill Road to Merrick Road to the CIP as well.

If you are stuck in terrible late night traffic it helps to have satellite radio. Be aware that Sirius/XM has changed their entire channel line-up so that hardly any of your radio preset buttons will now land you on your favorite stations (you’ve probably figured this out already). Maddening. And we pay for this. Hard enough changing the time in the car when we hit Daylight Savings Time. Now we have to reprogram the radio presets. Great.

The Royal Wedding

Last Friday William and Kate tied the knot at Westminster Abbey followed by a couple of soirees at Buckingham Palace. Now those two venues probably can’t compare to The Sephardic Temple or The Sands in Atlantic Beach but somehow I’m sure the royal family managed to get through it all nevertheless.

Last Saturday, New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser wrote a scathing screed about the wedding charging that it was “disturbingly white,” Peyser asserted that “I saw not a potential queen…Kate bore the look of a lithe human sacrifice…in her eyes terror.” Peyser went on to state that “Kate did her best to paint on a smile…as the royal mob made asses of themselves…to give Kate the once-over like a hunk of meat.” She added finally that “Brits in T-shirts and jeans gathered for days to catch a glimpse of the white folks riding to Buckingham Palace…”

Me thinks Ms. Peyser doth protest too much. Speaking as a certified Jewish-American Prince myself, let me address Peyser’s points – Of course the royal wedding was full of white people. England is ground zero for world WASPY-ness and the bullseye at this ground zero is the royal family. How many minorities does one find at the average Jewish or Italian or Irish wedding? How many white folks at a Saudi wedding or nuptials in Swaziland? People invite their nearest and dearest to weddings and that means family first and foremost. The royals are white. So what?

“Human sacrifice?” Ms. Middleton dated Willie for eight years and this was no shotgun wedding. She is a 29 year-old grown woman not a naïve 19 year-old. She knew she was marrying into. Also, some people actually want to get married. No need to feel sorry for the girl. Kate just married one of the world’s wealthiest men, will be living in palaces and traveling the world. Not too shabby if you go for that sort of thing.

“Terror?” Hey Andrea, ever been married? Everyone is scared to death at their wedding even if it’s just in front of 100 people in a restaurant and not 2,000 at a cathedral. Everyone attending a wedding takes a long look at the bride as she makes her way down the isle, probably no more or less than those gazing at Kate. That’s why brides across the world make such a fuss over their appearance on their wedding days. And for the album. Finally, for some reason we Americans can’t totally fathom or relate to, the Brits on the whole idolize the Monarchy and see the royals as the President and Hollywood rolled into one. Our celebrity-obsessed culture deifies people of much less worth, so if Brits want to catch a glimpse of the bride and groom, more power to them.

The British are entitled to their own culture, to their own heritage. In the pluralistic multi-cultural politically correct world everyone’s diversity is celebrated except for white people, who somehow are the source of all evil. The British are one of the founts of what used to be called “Western Civilization,” which used to be a good thing. Regarding Will and Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (the original one, not the one next to Boston) I wish them much happiness. Marriage is tough. Billions make it easier. And the next time I tie the knot, I’ll be looking for one of those fancy British redcoat uniforms to wear, provided that my Jewish-American Princess allows me to.

Two Great Reads

In recognition of Holocaust Rembrance Day last week and Israeli Independence Day this week, I recommend two books I just finished. First is Michael B. Oren’s “Six Days of War,” about the June 1967 war. Oren, now Israel’s Ambassador to the U.S., wrote this book about 10 years ago and it is quite simply as the Philadelphia Inquirer says, “a magisterial work.” What makes the book special are all the interviews Oren conducted with former Egyptian and Jordanian generals and officials, opening a window to the Arab state of mind in the conflict that has generally not been reported and is fascinating for its perspective. Combine that with intimate details of how the war was run from the Israeli side and you have a riveting read.

Second is “The Eichmann Trial” by noted historian Deborah E. Lipstadt. This is a new, short book examining the impact of the trial of Adolf Eichmann on history and the world at the time and how the Israeli prosecutors ran the proceedings. Also rife with never before revealed details and insights, Lipstadt makes us privy to real-time drama and dialog that puts you in the visitors’ gallery. A compelling story today in light of all the Eichmann wannabees prancing about. You’ll get through this book in a day. Excellently written.

The Zeitgeist

      

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.

I’m having an anniversary. A year ago I found myself ambling out of the Seventh Avenue offices of the Beth Din of America, the rabbinical court that processes many Jewish divorces in New York. The Beth Din (religious court) is located in a very non-descript office building South of Penn Station in an equally non-descript suite of offices in that building. One could just as well be visiting some city agency or mid-level law or accounting firm. Visually, there’s nothing about the place that would indicate the dramatic life changes taking place within its walls.

The overall vanilla drabness there is perhaps a metaphor for the blah-like feelings I had upon emerging after an hour spent with a panel of heretofore unknown (to me) rabbis, quills in hand as they peppered me with no end of questions on my lineage and that of my now former spouse while they wrote a Bill of Divorce (a “get”) which is essentially the opposite of a Jewish marriage certificate (a “ketuba”).

Although the place is very bureaucratic looking, the atmosphere is comparable to that of a funeral parlor (minus the Gothic crenellations and profusion of interior mahogany, suede and flowers) as you’re not the only person having their life unraveled at the time, so the waiting area is an amalgam of grim, teary and moist-eyed people of all ages and genders, some heartbreakingly young and some surprisingly old.

In the space of 60 minutes 14-plus years of my life were consigned to the permanent past in a divorce I didn’t ask for, didn’t want and that I tried real hard to stop. But you can’t control other people and you can’t control the weather, so I found myself as a reluctant over-50 single still living in my same Five Towns home, still going to the same synagogues, still driving the same car, still having the same cleaning lady (nine years now) and same secretary (eight). Unfortunately, my prior business of 18 years was being severely battered by the recession when my ex bolted from our home a year and a half ago so I had to contend with the dual stresses of personal heartache and professional tzurris. I don’t recommend this to anyone. Thankfully, I have a very loving family and some truly amazing friends and neighbors that helped me through.

The last time I was truly single was around 1995-96 which was way before the ubiquity of mobile phones, Blackberrys, i-Phones, internet dating, text messaging, BBM-ing and the like. It’s been kind of a Rip Van Winkle experience learning the new fangled dating etiquette (yes, there has been a dating paradigm-shift in the past 15 years and it’s not like it was “back in the day.”). First and foremost it has been an odyssey of oddity as older members of the opposite sex are not the same at say, 40, as they were at 25. Many of those who never married have frankly spent way too much time “professionally dating” (going on hundreds of first and second dates) so that they could really just send a video and/or they’ve spent so much time living alone that the concept of sharing everyday life is an unfathomable and alien concept.

Then there are those who have sadly become embittered and jaded by past relationships and /or marriages to such an extent that all new men they meet are tainted with “original sin,” i.e., all men are guilty of being dogs until proven otherwise and the burden of proof on any guy can be exhausting and extensive. These women are often the polar opposite of the wide-eyed romantic and willing young woman of 15 years ago. And there are a lot fewer of them because so many ladies between 35-45 are married now with kids.

Manhattan is the center of middle aged (and all ages really) single life, so I’ve put my EZ-pass to work along with my rear “Bumper Buddy,” and trucked a lot into The City to meet and date. The Amex card also has gotten some exercise. Many women find me to be “G.U.” (geographically undesirable) as their world ends at the East or Hudson Rivers but I’m not moving back into some tiny place in Manhattan if I can help it. That’s why God invented cars, EZ-pass and the LIRR. (Well, maybe the Devil invented the LIRR).

So far I’ve not been able to re-create the bright sparks and deep chemistry (both emotional, intellectual and physical) of prior committed relationships but its only been a year now and Spring is finally here, my pink tulips are in full, glorious bloom and I’m thankfully dating. I’ll keep you all periodically posted on my social progress in this second-life quest for middle-aged love. You can read some of my prior blog posts on this subject at Wuugu.com and look in this space for ongoing tales of adventure from the suburban single and fabulous.

The Zeitgeist

        

Scrambled Matza Brei, Shmura Matza whole (hopefully and preferably). The Streit’s factory on Rivington Street and four small cups for the four cups.

Tips for a Happy Passover

Passover begins Monday evening and with that the eight day gastrointestinal endurance contest with matza and matza-related products. Matza is called “the bread of affliction,” I think no so much as a metaphor for the oppression endured by the ancient Israelites (what’s an ‘Israelite’ anyway? A slimmer Jew before the invention of Eastern European Jewish cooking?) than for the calcifying and immobilizing effect that matza has on so many of us.

There are some foods I only eat this time of year. To combat the aforementioned matza, I consume copious amounts of dried fruit such as apricots and prunes. There are my two favorite Passover breakfasts – Matza Brei (scrambled, loose – don’t talk to me about pancakes…) and one that must surely have originated in the shtetl – boiled potato and hard boiled egg in water, mashed together. At no other time of the year would I remotely consider such a concoction, yet, at Passover I relish and look forward to it. Oh, and Macaroons. Honey nut, preferably.

In the matza area, I’ve become a convert to Streit’s Whole Wheat. It’s got lots of snap, wheat taste and most importantly, fiber and bran. Streit’s also has spelt matza which has a smooth taste, I’m a Streit’s purist owing to the effect New York City water has on the taste of their matza, much as city water has beneficial effects on bagels and pizza dough. For the Seder, Israeli shmurah hand-made round matza. Why? Less expensive than Brooklyn-baked shmurah and most importantly – the Israelis manage to shrink-wrap these round matzot and ship them 6,000 miles without breaking most of them, whereas the Brooklyn variety are tossed into flimsy boxes and then jostled in trucks by Samsonite Luggage commercial gorillas and then arrive at your Seder with two pieces intact out of a four pound box. Oh, and the Israeli variety costs less generally despite the long journey and you get to help Israel.

Some Seder suggestions – The Four Cups: Most folks break out their fine crystal goblets fit for Henry VIII at Windsor Castle. They look great on the table but when filled with wine, most Seder participants find themselves staring at eight or more daunting ounces, so many people just take a few sips instead of fulfilling the obligation to drink a full cup. Others actually chug the whole thing and end up seriously buzzed way before the second cup comes around. The religious requirement is actually in the area of three to 3.5 ounces. To make the Seder ritual of The Four Cups more meaningful and achievable our family procured a nice set of hand painted ceramic four ounce wine cups that we use for the Seder. This way, people aren’t intimidated or prematurely inebriated and most everyone actually drinks four cups.

Drinking at the Seder is essential to both make the occasion joyous and to make spending many hours with your extended family more palatable. Because the story of Passover goes from slavery to freedom I generally start the first cup with a very dry wine, (also low residual sugar helps retard early intoxication) a semi-dry for the second cup, semi-sweet for the third cup and sweet wine for the fourth and final cup when we delight in our liberation from slavery. Get good wines, treat yourself and your guests. Everything is better with better wines. Would you buy an anorexic brisket? In The Five Towns go down and see Moshe Fink or Fay at Chateau de Vin (www.OnlyKosherWine.com ) on Central Avenue in Cedarhurst. All they do is kosher wine. Moshe has an encyclopedic knowledge of every grape ever pressed into sacramental service and he’ll let you taste just about anything before you buy it.

Some other Seder tips – Because of Daylight Savings Time, most Seders will start pretty late (after sundown). Crankiness can be mitigated mightily by urging one’s guests to have a snack or light meal at 5:30 or 6:00 so they don’t arrive famished and so the Seder meal is not mimicking a post-Ramadan break fast or frat house food fight. Also, inject humor. I love tossing jokes in between segments of the Haggadah. The holiday ought not be dour or dull. Google “Passover Jokes” and print some out. A good place to go is www.Bangitout.com, they’re got a lot of funny stuff. If most of your guests don’t understand Hebrew, do the Seder mostly in English. More important that the evening have meaning than be viewed as mumbo-jumbo or voodoo incantations. Very best wishes for a Sweet and Happy Passover!

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